RAThe shrinking Washington Monument
Conan O'Brien , compared with Robert "Alex" Kaseberg
News that the Washington Monument measured about ten inches shorter becomes a cold-weather "shrinkage" joke.
“Yesterday surveyors[] announced that the Washington Monument is ten inches shorter than what's been previously recorded. Yeah. Of course, the monument is blaming the shrinkage on the cold weather. Penis joke.”
Conan (TBS) monologue, 2015quote source ↗find on YouTube ↗
“The Washington Monument is ten inches shorter than previously thought. You know the winter has been cold when a monument suffers from shrinkage.”
Twitter / blog, 2015quote source ↗find on YouTube ↗
Same news hook and the same shrinkage-from-the-cold payoff; Conan's version just gives the monument the excuse and adds a tag.
- Premise 39/40
- Structure 27/30
- Punchline 24/30
- Premise39/40Both turn the same news item, the monument measuring ten inches shorter, into a cold-weather shrinkage joke.
- Structure27/30Same two-step shape: state the news fact, then reframe it as shrinkage from the cold.
- Punchline24/30Both land on shrinkage blamed on cold; Conan voices it as the monument's excuse and tags it penis joke.
Setup
Surveyors announce the Washington Monument is ten inches shorter than recorded.
Setup
The Washington Monument turns out to be ten inches shorter than thought.
Turn
The monument itself is cast as the one making excuses.
Turn
The rough winter is framed as the cause of the change.
Punchline
The monument blames the shrinkage on cold weather, then a penis-joke tag.
Punchline
A cold winter means even a monument suffers from shrinkage.
In the words themselves
33% of the meaningful words are shared · longest identical run: “the washington monument is ten inches shorter than”. Shared words are highlighted in the quotes above.
Scores and beats are our editorial reading of the public record, not a ruling.
Context
When and where
Kaseberg posted it on Twitter at 7:21 a.m. and on his blog at 11:20 a.m. on Feb 17, 2015. Conan writer Kiley submitted the monologue joke at about 1:23 p.m. that day, and it aired that night.
What followed
Kaseberg sued O'Brien, his writers, TBS and Time Warner in July 2015; a federal judge let this joke go toward trial, finding it "virtually identical" but only thinly protected. The case settled in May 2019, weeks before trial, on undisclosed terms; O'Brien wrote in Variety that his staff had never heard of Kaseberg and settled to avoid a costly trial.
Receipts
Photos via Wikimedia Commons: Conan O'Brien by Montclair Film, CC BY 4.0