The funniest office life jokes, ranked.
5 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1
80John Mulaney The Comeback Kid, 2015 · on Office life
“I loved being a temp, because I would just go from office to office and be terrible at a different job for a week.”
Cheerful about his own incompetence — the turn on 'loved' lands.
- 2
77Jerry Seinfeld SeinLanguage (book), 1993 · on Office life
He doesn't think people see their office as a workplace at all.
“I think they think of it as a stationery store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.”
'A stationery store with Danish' reframes the office perfectly.
- 3
76Daniel Tosh Happy Thoughts, 2011 · on Office life
Rebutting 'the worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work' by citing Deadliest Catch.
“I've never once been at work, capsized in 40-degree water, watched all my co-workers die, and be like, "Hey, at least we're fucking fishin'."”
Debunks a cozy saying with a grim, specific counterexample.
- 4
72George Carlin Brain Droppings (book), 1997 · on Office life
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
Elegant symmetry describing the whole employment contract.
- 5ED64
Ellen DeGeneres Here and Now, 2003 · on Office life
Don't you hate when people are late to work and have the worst excuses?
“"Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in?!"”
Fun act-out of an office pet peeve; the turn is mild.