The funniest being a dad jokes, ranked.

6 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   Lobby Baby, 2019 · on Being a dad

   81

   Filling out his newborn's hospital paperwork, Meyers puts his wife's father's name under 'Father's name'.

   “And I thought, “Who the fuck knows their father-in-law’s phone number?” And then, I realized, “Oh, I’m the father!””

   The moment of realizing you're the adult now, dramatized on a form.

   Scraps from the Loft — Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby (transcript) ↗All Being a dad jokes →

2. 2

   NM

   tweet, 2018 · on Being a dad

   79

   “Oh, f—k, is this Father’s Day? Goddamn it. Now I have to make a call to Canada and have some horseshoe conversation about how…Oh, wait, no. My father died 30 years ago. Whew!”

   Relief in the wrong place, delivered with Norm's cheerful darkness.

   VICE — 10 Classic Father's Day Jokes From Some of Comedy's Biggest Names ↗All Being a dad jokes →

3. 3

   

   Noble Ape, 2018 · on Being a dad

   76

   Gaffigan admits that five kids is, frankly, too many.

   “It is a lot, but what am I gonna do now? It’s not like they come with free return shipping.”

   Treats five kids like an online order he can't send back.

   Scraps from the Loft — Jim Gaffigan: Noble Ape (transcript) ↗All Being a dad jokes →

4. 4

   

   Instagram post, 2020 · on Being a dad

   74

   “Happy Father’s Day to all of you dads. Just had brunch with my two imaginary kids and I had to pay.”

   Even imaginary children stick him with the bill.

   VICE — 10 Classic Father's Day Jokes From Some of Comedy's Biggest Names ↗All Being a dad jokes →

5. 5

   

   video clip (per VICE) · on Being a dad

   73

   “Father’s Day is, ‘Oh my God, we forgot about Dad again, let’s buy him a gift that shows him how little we know about him.’ That’s what Father’s Day is.”

   Sharp read on the dad-gift genre.

   VICE — 10 Classic Father's Day Jokes From Some of Comedy's Biggest Names ↗All Being a dad jokes →

6. 6

   

   tweet, 2018 · on Being a dad

   70

   “All I want for Father’s Day is for my kids to stop calling me ‘Not-Dwayne-Johnson.’”

   Self-deprecating, specific nickname.

   VICE — 10 Classic Father's Day Jokes From Some of Comedy's Biggest Names ↗All Being a dad jokes →