The funniest pregnancy & childbirth jokes, ranked.

5 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   Lobby Baby, 2019 · on Pregnancy & childbirth

   81

   Meyers's wife went into fast labor and was on all fours in the back of an Uber with her head out the window.

   “screaming, “I do not like this.” Being very economical with her word choice.”

   Understatement during agony, then a perfect deadpan note.

   Scraps from the Loft — Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby (transcript) ↗All Pregnancy & childbirth jokes →

2. 2

   

   Baby Cobra, 2016 · on Pregnancy & childbirth

   80

   “Hopefully, if you see me in a year, I will have the kind of body where, if I do a nude scene on television, people will commend me for being courageous.”

   Weaponizes body-positivity praise as a lazy goal.

   Scraps from the Loft — Ali Wong: Baby Cobra (transcript) ↗All Pregnancy & childbirth jokes →

3. 3

   MS

   Edinburgh Fringe show, 2016 · on Pregnancy & childbirth

   77

   “Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2016, #4Twists a statistic about furniture into the showroom.

   Chortle — And the joke of the 2016 Fringe is… ↗All Pregnancy & childbirth jokes →

4. 4

   MS

   Edinburgh Fringe show, 2022 · on Pregnancy & childbirth

   74

   “Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2022, #2Rainforest/retailer pun with a nice childbirth twist.

   Time Out — The top ten jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe (2022) ↗All Pregnancy & childbirth jokes →

5. 5

   MG

   Edinburgh Fringe show, 2021 · on Pregnancy & childbirth

   70

   “I thought the word "Caesarean" began with the letter "S" but when I looked in the dictionary, it was in the "C" section.”

   Won the unofficial '(Some guy called) Dave Joke of the Fringe' 2021Dense pun built on a spelling confusion.

   Wikipedia — Funniest Joke of the Fringe ↗All Pregnancy & childbirth jokes →