The funniest kids jokes, ranked.

4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   interview (NPR), 2015 · on Kids

   80

   “Ten years ago I couldn't get a date. And now my apartment is literally crawling with babies. It's like I left peanut butter out or something”

   Kids as an infestation; an image you can see.

   NPR — For Three Comedians, Valentine's Day Makes For One Big Joke (2015) ↗All Kids jokes →

2. 2

   GD

   Edinburgh Fringe show, 2010 · on Kids

   79

   “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2010, top 10Re-parses 'walk the plank' with a poverty punchline.

   Taylor Herring — Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2010 ↗All Kids jokes →

3. 3

   EB

   Edinburgh Fringe show, 2017 · on Kids

   77

   “I have two boys, five and six. We're no good at naming things in our house.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2017, #8The setup sounds like a fact until the tag reinterprets it.

   Refinery29 — Edinburgh Fringe funniest joke 2017 ↗All Kids jokes →

4. 4

   SF

   Edinburgh Fringe show, 2012 · on Kids

   72

   “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2012 (winner)Topical celebrity-baby-name dig; tight but dated.

   ShortList — The Fringe's funniest jokes revealed (2012) ↗All Kids jokes →