The funniest bugs & spiders jokes, ranked.
4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1MH87
Mitch Hedberg Do You Believe in Gosh?, 2008 · on Bugs & spiders
“A fly was very close to being called a "land," cause that's what they do half the time.”
A tiny naming logic nobody considered, delivered in one breath.
- 2
79Jimmy Carr Being Funny, 2011 · on Bugs & spiders
“If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDs.”
Charity-appeal phrasing swerves to pity the mosquitoes; dark, precise misdirect.
- 3
72George Carlin Brain Droppings (book), 1997 · on Bugs & spiders
Carlin is happy to share a room with a fly, as long as it stays in the part he isn't using.
“But if he starts that smart-ass fly shit, buzzing my head and repeatedly landing on my arm, he is engaging in high-risk behavior.”
Legalistic menace aimed at a housefly; the 'high-risk behavior' tag lands.
- 4
62Larry the Cable Guy Tailgate Party, 2009 · on Bugs & spiders
“I was madder then a mosquito in a mannequin factory.”
A good, specific folksy simile, but it's a single image.