The funniest the weather jokes, ranked.
5 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1JH86
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts: Inspiration for the Uninspired (book), 1992 · on The weather
“If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."”
Parental whimsy turns into guilt-tripping, with the 'cute' repetition doing the work.
- 2
80Lewis Black Rules of Enragement, 2003 · on The weather
On TV weather reporters' wind-chill figures.
“They come on, "Well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3." … WELL, THEN IT'S MINUS 3, ASSHOLE!”
Rage at a forecasting convention everyone silently finds pointless.
- 3MH78
Mitch Hedberg Strategic Grill Locations, 1999 · on The weather
“My friend said to me "I think the weather's trippy." I said "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy." Then I thought "Man, I should have just said 'Yeah.'"”
Stoner philosophy deflated by self-awareness.
- 4
70Robin Williams Weapons of Self Destruction, 2010 · on The weather
“You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Nothing! Somebody's losing a trailer.”
Old riddle structure with a sharp regional punchline.
- 5
68Johnny Carson The Tonight Show, 1977 · on The weather
“It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea.”
Classic 'so hot' formula with a brand-name image.