The funniest cruises jokes, ranked.
4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1FB80
Frankie Boyle Excited for You to See and Hate This, 2020 · on Cruises
“What's the first thing they do when they get rich, they buy a yacht. Ever been on a yacht? It's like being in a two star hotel on fucking roller-skates.”
The two-star-hotel-on-roller-skates simile is vivid and exact.
- 2MS74
Mark Simmons Edinburgh Fringe set, 2024 · on Cruises
“I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.”
U&Dave Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2024 (winner)Clean double meaning: ship in a bottle and losing your nerve.
BBC News: Funniest Joke at Edinburgh Fringe – Simmons' ship joke triumphs (2024, with top 15) ↗All Cruises jokes →
- 3SF66
Stewart Francis Edinburgh Fringe set, 2012 · on Cruises
“I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2012 – top 10 (No. 8)Efficient pun, but you can see it coming.
The Guardian: Edinburgh's 10 funniest jokes revealed (2012) ↗All Cruises jokes →
- 4MC52
Margaret Cho I'm the One That I Want, 2000 · on Cruises
“One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.”
More of an amusing credit than a joke; the image does most of the work.