The funniest hotels jokes, ranked.

4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   RG

   Edinburgh Fringe set, 2009 · on Hotels

   82

   “A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2009 – top 10 (No. 8)A single, perfectly chosen image deflates the whole wellness industry.

   Chortle: Revealed – the funniest joke on the Fringe (2009 top 10) ↗All Hotels jokes →

2. 2

   MH

   Mitch All Together, 2003 · on Hotels

   78

   “My hotel doesn't have a 13th Floor because of superstition, but c'mon man... People on the 14th Floor, you know what floor you're really on. "What room are you in?" "1401". "No, you're not. Jump out of window, you'll die earlier!".”

   Pushes the missing-13th-floor logic to a dark, ridiculous practical test.

   Wikiquote: Mitch Hedberg ↗All Hotels jokes →

3. 3

   BH

   USO show, Saigon (quoted in his New York Times obituary) · on Hotels

   77

   He arrived in Saigon the day Vietcong agents blew up an American officers' billet.

   “I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction.”

   Cool understatement about a bombing, in one tight sentence.

   Wikiquote: Bob Hope (citing New York Times obituary, 28 July 2003) ↗All Hotels jokes →

4. 4

   

   as quoted in The Haunted Smile (2001) · on Hotels

   70

   “My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.”

   Textbook Youngman: two lines, a pun that doubles as a marriage insult.

   Wikiquote: Henny Youngman ↗All Hotels jokes →