The funniest tourists jokes, ranked.
4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1HP78
Henry Paker Unpacked (Edinburgh Fringe), 2014 · on Tourists
“I wanted to go to Venice. I've been eating the Veneziana pizza from Pizza Express my whole adult life. Every time you buy it, they donate 25p to save Venice. So I thought it would be nice to see how my work's getting on.”
A smug, specific tourist motive built from a real charity gimmick.
The Guardian: Edinburgh fringe 2014 – the 10 best jokes so far ↗All Tourists jokes →
- 2
70Dylan Moran Monster, 2004 · on Tourists
On taking holiday photos.
“You record something to look back on it, even though you’re not really there when you’re taking the picture ‘cause you’re too busy recording it; so you retrospectively go to look back on where you weren’t and tell yourself you had a good time.”
'Look back on where you weren't' is a sharp twist on holiday snapshots.
- 3AW62
A. Whitney Brown quoted in The New York Times Theater Reviews, 1987 · on Tourists
“Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.”
Dark historical logic, though it leans on a tourist stereotype.
Wikiquote: Tourism (citing The New York Times Theater Reviews, 1987) ↗All Tourists jokes →
- 4
55Doug Stanhope Oslo: Burning the Bridge to Nowhere, 2011 · on Tourists
“Put your fucking camera away, you stupid fucking tourist of life!”
'Tourist of life' is a good phrase, but it's more rant than joke.