The funniest halloween jokes, ranked.

6 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   I'm Telling You for the Last Time, 1998 · on Halloween

   84

   His childhood Superman costume box warned: “Do not attempt to fly!”

   “I love the idea of the kid who’s stupid enough to think he actually is Superman but smart enough to check that box before he goes off the roof.”

   Finds the exact contradiction in a warning label; vintage observational precision.

   Scraps from the Loft — Jerry Seinfeld: I'm Telling You for the Last Time (transcript) ↗All Halloween jokes →

2. 2

   RD

   tweet, 2013 · on Halloween

   79

   “For Halloween I'm going as that feeling you get at a store when you try to refold a sweater properly & put it back on the shelf.”

   A costume that's an emotion; startlingly specific shame.

   Time Out London — The best Halloween jokes ↗All Halloween jokes →

3. 3

   AH

   tweet, 2014 · on Halloween

   77

   “I wasn't invited to any halloween parties so to get that spooky feeling I just ate a sandwich next to a photo of my nan in the dark”

   Sad, odd, and precise: the DIY spookiness is perfectly pathetic.

   Time Out London — The best Halloween jokes ↗All Halloween jokes →

4. 4

   MB

   tweet, 2013 · on Halloween

   72

   “Halloween is the only day of the year when it's okay to ask, "what are you?"”

   Short, socially pointed, and true.

   Time Out London — The best Halloween jokes ↗All Halloween jokes →

5. 5

   RJ

   tweet, 2013 · on Halloween

   71

   “If the ghost of a murdered girl really existed I think she'd have something better to do than haunt people who don't forward chain emails.”

   Applies common sense to a chain-letter threat; dated but sharp.

   Time Out London — The best Halloween jokes ↗All Halloween jokes →

6. 6

   

   tweet, 2013 · on Halloween

   68

   “I see Dracula has been rearranging his furniture with his teeth. Doing a bit of fang shui.”

   A well-built pun; groan-adjacent by design.

   Time Out London — The best Halloween jokes ↗All Halloween jokes →