The funniest accents & language jokes, ranked.
6 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1
84Eddie Izzard Dress to Kill, 1998 · on Accents & language
Listing American vs British pronunciations.
“You say 'erbs and we say herbs because there's a fucking H in it.”
Ends the transatlantic pronunciation debate with spelling and indignation.
Scraps from the Loft: Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill transcript ↗All Accents & language jokes →
- 2MJ82
Milton Jones Time Out London joke vault, 2013 · on Accents & language
“I can't even count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept… Aarrgghh! Sorry, I've got a huit allergy.”
Phonetic pun ('huit'/wheat) hidden inside a counting game.
Time Out London: Milton Jones's joke vault ↗All Accents & language jokes →
- 3
80Steven Wright When the Leaves Blow Away, 2006 · on Accents & language
“It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no one to talk to.”
Insular logic stated with total sincerity.
- 4RS76
Ross Smith Edinburgh Fringe, 2019 · on Accents & language
“A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it”
Dave's Funniest Jokes of the Fringe 2019 top 10 (No. 5)The punchline contradicts itself in five words.
Luke's English Podcast: Top 10 jokes from Edinburgh Fringe 2019 ↗All Accents & language jokes →
- 5
74Lewis Black The White Album, 2000 · on Accents & language
“I'll tell ya, in New York City, where I've lived far too long, 'fuck' isn't even a word, it's a comma.”
Treats swearing as New York punctuation.
- 6
70Daniel Tosh True Stories I Made Up, 2005 · on Accents & language
“I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.”
Imagines heaven as a bad tourist experience.