The funniest elections jokes, ranked.
5 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1
83Chris Rock Live at Madison Square Garden (tour), 2008 · on Elections
“They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.”
Election-day logistics judged by party-planning logic.
New York Magazine via Wikiquote: Chris Rock ↗All Elections jokes →
- 2PP80
Paula Poundstone Look What the Cat Dragged In, 2006 · on Elections
“I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.”
Calls a personal flaw a job qualification, which fits all the 'I don't recall' testimony.
- 3
75John Mulaney The Comeback Kid, 2015 · on Elections
“I know now that I'm definetely never gonna be president. Not unless everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly.”
Leaves the 'bunch of stuff' vague, and the vagueness does the work.
- 4
66Jay Leno The Tonight Show monologue, 2006 · on Elections
“How many watched the President's speech last night? [half-hearted audience applause] How many watched American Idol? [thundering applause] Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve.”
The audience delivers the joke for him; the tag is a familiar saying.
- 5
62Doug Stanhope Deadbeat Hero, 2004 · on Elections
“The problem with this country is that old folks vote. We got shit to do, old folks don't, the only thing they have to do is judge you and vote.”
Cranky turnout analysis; more rant than turn.