The funniest college jokes, ranked.
4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1WA87
Woody Allen Standup Comic (album) · on College
“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
Takes 'metaphysics' literally and turns cheating into a spiritual act.
- 2
84John Mulaney Kid Gorgeous, 2018 · on College
“College was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep? But instead of winning money, you lose $120,000.”
A painfully exact game-show title plus a tuition sting.
- 3
78Chris Rock Bring the Pain, 1996 · on College
“Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"”
'Get my learn on' is a perfect bit of borrowed club slang.
- 4
62Lewis Black The White Album, 2000 · on College
“If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.”
Pure non sequitur; it works on its weirdness, not on logic.