The funniest sports jokes, ranked.
6 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1
78Will Rogers The Illiterate Digest (book), 1924 · on Sports
“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”
Treats golf scorecards as the national standard for lying.
- 2MS74
Mark Simmons Edinburgh Fringe, 2024 · on Sports
“I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.”
Dave's Funniest Jokes of the Fringe 2024 shortlist (No. 5)Two meanings of 'ran with it' line up cleanly.
WhatsOnStage: Edinburgh Fringe top jokes (Dave) ↗All Sports jokes →
- 3
72George Carlin Playin' with Your Head, 1986 · on Sports
“You know how you speed up baseball? Everybody gets one swing. That's it, one swing, fuck you, you're out, sit down!”
Brutally simple rule change with Carlin's impatience in it.
- 4MH70
Mitch Hedberg Strategic Grill Locations, 1999 · on Sports
“I play sports... No I don't, what the fuck?”
He drops his own premise in the next breath.
- 5
66Jay Leno The Tonight Show monologue, 2008 · on Sports
“I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.”
Uses a seasonal sports collapse as a calendar.
- 6
64Robin Williams A Night at the Met, 1986 · on Sports
“You're playing a game against a man called the Refrigerator! He's not a refrigerator – he's a goddamn HOUSE with LEGS!!”
Escalating a nickname; the energy carries more than the line.