The funniest being single jokes, ranked.
5 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1
71Aziz Ansari Live at Madison Square Garden (Netflix special), 2015 · on Being single
Being single now is endless 'we should get together sometime' texting.
“It's pretty much like you're a secretary for this really shoddy organization… trying to schedule the dumbest shit with the flakiest people.”
Recasts modern single life as thankless admin, which everyone recognises.
Aziz Ansari: Live at Madison Square Garden – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Being single jokes →
- 2
70Jerry Seinfeld Redbook feature, 1991 · on Being single
“I'm a single guy. I date. I think I enjoy it. For me, nothing caps off a week like four hours of solid tension.”
'Solid tension' as the reward of the week is a crisp deflation.
Wikiquote – Jerry Seinfeld (citing Redbook, 1991) ↗All Being single jokes →
- 3
68Iliza Shlesinger Elder Millennial (Netflix special), 2018 · on Being single
“I don't know a single girl out there that's, like, “I hate being single. I don't get it. I wash with ham and cat hair. Where is he? Where is he?””
'Ham and cat hair' is a gloriously specific act-out of self-sabotage.
Iliza Shlesinger: Elder Millennial – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Being single jokes →
- 4
66Chris Rock Bigger & Blacker (album), 1999 · on Being single
“You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.”
Bleak symmetry with a deadpan final shrug.
Wikiquote – Chris Rock (citing Bigger and Blacker, 1999) ↗All Being single jokes →
- 5LF64
Lew Fitz Edinburgh Fringe 2017, 2017 · on Being single
“I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her.”
Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2017 – 4th placeLiteral-minded solution to a figurative phrase; neat but guessable.
The Independent – Edinburgh Fringe 2017 funniest jokes revealed ↗All Being single jokes →