The funniest breakups jokes, ranked.

3 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   Look at You (Netflix special), 2022 · on Breakups

   78

   After a bad breakup she finally took a long hard look at herself.

   “Okay, Taylor, five out of five dudes all think that in fights, you behave like a raccoon trapped in a trash bag.”

   Self-audit as a unanimous review, capped with a vivid, specific animal image.

   Taylor Tomlinson: Look at You – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Breakups jokes →

2. 2

   DA

   Edinburgh Fringe 2018, 2018 · on Breakups

   70

   “In my last relationship I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2018 – 4th placeLiteralises the 'piece of meat' complaint with a tidy reversal.

   WhatsOnStage – top 10 jokes at Edinburgh Fringe 2018 ↗All Breakups jokes →

3. 3

   

   Freezing Hot (Netflix special), 2015 · on Breakups

   62

   “The way we actually broke up was yours truly got a little drunk and a little honest one night and texted him something to the effect of, “You don't even watch Breaking Bad. How are we supposed to be together?””

   The petty real reason punctures her elaborate fantasy-breakup buildup.

   Iliza Shlesinger: Freezing Hot – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Breakups jokes →