The funniest cheating jokes, ranked.

5 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   It's Not Easy Bein' Me (memoir, p. 59), 2004 · on Cheating

   85

   “I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.”

   A textbook misdirect: the setup sounds kinky, the punch reveals betrayal.

   Wikiquote – Rodney Dangerfield (citing It's Not Easy Bein' Me, 2004, p. 59) ↗All Cheating jokes →

2. 2

   

   The Comeback Kid (Netflix special), 2015 · on Cheating

   82

   As a kid watching America's Most Wanted he could never understand how anyone could kill another person.

   “And then I got cheated on, and I was like, “Oh, okay.” “I'm not gonna do it, but I totally get it.””

   The calm 'I totally get it' about murder is a superb understatement.

   John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Cheating jokes →

3. 3

   

   Elder Millennial (Netflix special), 2018 · on Cheating

   74

   “He broke up with me because I slept with his brother. They're twins. They should have worn different color hats or something. I was set up.”

   Blame-shifting escalates nicely to 'I was set up'.

   Iliza Shlesinger: Elder Millennial – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Cheating jokes →

4. 4

   

   SeinLanguage (book), 1993 · on Cheating

   73

   “Some people actually cheat on the people that they're cheating with, which is like holding up a bank and then turning to the robber next to you and going, "All right, give me everything you got, too."”

   A precise heist analogy that makes double-cheating look absurd.

   Wikiquote – Jerry Seinfeld (citing SeinLanguage, 1993) ↗All Cheating jokes →

5. 5

   LR

   Edinburgh Fringe 2023, 2023 · on Cheating

   64

   “I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2023 – winnerClean, quick pun; groan-adjacent but perfectly built.

   Taylor Herring (for Dave) – Dave's Joke of the Fringe 2023 ↗All Cheating jokes →