The funniest hospitals jokes, ranked.

4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   stand-up act (quoted in his AP obituary) · on Hospitals

   87

   “When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother.”

   Swaps the newborn's slap onto the mother; a perfect one-line reversal.

   Spokesman-Review/AP: Comic Rodney Dangerfield dies at 82 ↗All Hospitals jokes →

2. 2

   BC

   Edinburgh Fringe 2021, 2021 · on Hospitals

   76

   “Getting a caesarian is dangerous in Russia. If they open you up and find a little girl, they open her up to see if there's another.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2021, #6Matryoshka dolls applied to surgery; vivid and dark.

   Chortle: Dave's top 10 Fringe jokes 2021 ↗All Hospitals jokes →

3. 3

   

   Noble Ape, 2018 · on Hospitals

   72

   “You ever see the anesthesiologist during surgery? They're always sitting there like… "I don't even know why I have to be here." Yeah, they're still alive. "Anyone got the WiFi password?"”

   The bored-coworker image in an operating theatre is sharply observed.

   Scraps from the Loft: Jim Gaffigan, Noble Ape transcript ↗All Hospitals jokes →

4. 4

   MG

   Edinburgh Fringe 2021, 2021 · on Hospitals

   70

   “I thought the word 'Caesarean' began with the letter 'S' but when I looked in the dictionary, it was in the 'C' section.”

   Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2021 (winner)Clever wordplay, though the hospital link is only the pun.

   Chortle: Dave's top 10 Fringe jokes 2021 ↗All Hospitals jokes →