The funniest sleep jokes, ranked.
4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).
- 1MH84
Mitch Hedberg Strategic Grill Locations, 1999 · on Sleep
“I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.”
Turns an insomnia boast into a literal reading of 'slept for'.
- 2
80Steven Wright Steven Wright Special, 1985 · on Sleep
“I woke up one morning, [my girlfriend] asked me if I slept good. I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."”
Treats sleeping as a skill you can perform badly.
- 3RS74
Ross Smith Edinburgh Fringe 2019, 2019 · on Sleep
“Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning.”
Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2019, #6Neat self-cancelling logic.
- 4
64Jim Gaffigan quoted in TODAY · on Sleep
“Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, 'You were wonderful last night. I didn't want it to end. I can't wait to see you again.'”
Bed as a lover is cute but familiar.