The funniest cooking jokes, ranked.

3 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   MH

   Mitch All Together (album), 2003 · on Cooking

   84

   “I don't have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.”

   Pure Hedberg reframing — describing an object by its secondary function.

   Wikiquote – Mitch Hedberg (citing Mitch All Together, 2003) ↗All Cooking jokes →

2. 2

   

   It's Not Easy Bein' Me (memoir, p. 18), 2004 · on Cooking

   78

   “I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”

   Brush/count swap delivers a violent image in two words.

   Wikiquote – Rodney Dangerfield (citing It's Not Easy Bein' Me, 2004, p. 18) ↗All Cooking jokes →

3. 3

   

   Your Friend, Nate Bargatze (Netflix special), 2024 · on Cooking

   64

   “I don't know how long to microwave something. I have to ask her every time, as if her family invented the microwave.”

   Helpless-husband bit with a nicely absurd tag.

   Your Friend, Nate Bargatze – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Cooking jokes →