The funniest fast food jokes, ranked.

4 comedians, one topic. Quoted from the source, funniest first by our laugh score: surprise of the turn (40), economy (30) and specificity (30).

1. 1

   

   The Comeback Kid (Netflix special), 2015 · on Fast food

   82

   On a road trip the kids chanted 'McDonald's!' until his dad pulled into the drive-thru.

   “He had a vanload of little kids, and he got black coffee. The one thing from McDonald's no child could enjoy.”

   Paternal cruelty distilled into one perfect menu choice.

   John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Fast food jokes →

2. 2

   

   Mr. Universe (special), 2012 · on Fast food

   76

   “It's a bread bowl, filled with pasta, covered with cheese. The only ingredient missing? A suicide note.”

   Rule-of-three ingredient list snaps into dark excess.

   Paste – The 10 best food jokes of Jim Gaffigan ↗All Fast food jokes →

3. 3

   

   Your Friend, Nate Bargatze (Netflix special), 2024 · on Fast food

   72

   “I went to a McDonald's drive-through and my window did not roll down. That's the universe saying, “Give it a rest.””

   Cosmic intervention via a broken window — understated and self-aware.

   Your Friend, Nate Bargatze – transcript (Scraps from the Loft) ↗All Fast food jokes →

4. 4

   

   The Tonight Show, 1977 · on Fast food

   58

   “It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself."”

   Slogan twist; solid monologue joke, a little dated.

   Wikiquote – Johnny Carson (citing The Tonight Show, Summer 1977) ↗All Fast food jokes →